Why is marriage a lot like sourdough? Because it doesn’t always work. See, in making sourdough, you need time, warmth, labour, plus the basic ingredients – Isn’t that exactly what marriage needs too?

Certain family members are gluten intolerant, so we bake all our own bread. Thankfully our local whole food store – Hudson’s Wholefoods http://www.hudsonswholefoods.com/, who do great bulk deals – can supply me with 25 kilo bags of spelt and rye. We have been baking sourdough for over a month now.

Last week, I lost the magic. The loaves were dense, and just not rising enough. I was adding too much water or not having enough patience to wait. I still can’t get when to add the salt. The best way to eat the stuff was to toast it, which then created this thin bricklike slice on which to spread ones morning butter. Not very comforting for the soul.

I like my marriage when it’s like a good loaf of bread. I am happy to put the time and effort into it, but I sort of expect that there is going to be a relatively fluffy and nourishing but tasty bit of bread at the end. But on our fifteenth year together I am finally getting that marriage is a lot like sourdough. You can do everything according to the recipe, but it won’t necessarily turn out right. There is an art, a creative judgment call on tweaking that recipe totally dependent on the environment at that moment in time. Basically it isn’t always successful. But the microorganisms are still there in the starter. It is always alive and ready for another try (as long as you remember to feed it!).  These sleepless nights with darling daughter, and daytimes with cranky birth son No. 1 are driving Husband and I nuts. We are combating it with hugs, and kisses and trying to be really nice when we are not snarling, and somehow our marriage still alive. Each day brings a different kind of loaf; some days work out great, and some days are awful.

Just like us.