After having a deeply intense dreaming session after the new moon this month, I had a look at my own transits. Of course the Mars/Venus conjunction is taking place right on top of my natal Pluto in the 12th house and that new moon was conjunct my natal Uranus.
I don’t dream about relationships and people normally. I tend towards the zombie/sci-fi/flying kind of dreams but the dreams I’ve been having would put the Young and the Restless to shame! All kinds of relationships, loads of people that I know, and I was having relationships with them that I never have in real life. I found this disturbing because I am very private about most of my true feelings about people (Moon in Scorpio). I even like to keep it secret from myself, and so I am feeling ripped wide open by my subconscious. It is a vulnerable place to be in.
On the other hand, kind and longstanding friends have been telling me that they are so happy to see the old ME back! Well, I don’t remember this narky, argumentative, competitive, funny and emotional version of me at all, but seemingly others do and they like her…..
I feel like a hedgehog, all spiky and that nowhere is safe from change or unexpected (unwanted) revelations even my dreams. I am being drawn back into the Tarot, and visions of Kali/Sekhmet/the Morrigan. I am singing, and bouncing around the place, and then crying and seeing the light in between the leaves of trees with wonder.
Oh dear. I am a Mom, and hold down two jobs, how dare Mars swing by and upset my balance! In the daily drudgery of life, I do forget that I have passion and intensity and deep dreams full of possibilities. Perhaps the answer is to learn to live a little out of balance. Maybe I should try life a bit more in the style of the spinning top in it’s last final wobbles, when it skims the table top but through the force of it’s own momentum , keeps on going.